Eulogy for My Sister

In the Spring of 2024, my sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. In six months, she was gone. Despite the best efforts for treatment, the cancer spread quickly. She left this world on December 14, 2024. This is the eulogy I wrote and read at her "Celebration of Life" service.

We all know Brandy was smart, a great teacher, and deeply caring. She loved books, musical theater, history, and tea. She joked about being so introverted that she hated people, but really, she was one of the best friends a person could have.

She was not only my sister, but also my first friend and my best friend. When Brandy was little, my parents called her, “princess,” which was quite fitting for her confident, head-strong personality. I used to joke with her that when I was born, I knocked her off of her throne. She would laugh, but we both knew I could never knock Brandy off of her throne, even if I tried. I never needed to try. Brandy was the sort of person who moved over, picked me up, and sat me on her throne beside her. And then she straightened my crown.

She was always straightening my crown. When I was too insecure and afraid to exercise my talents and gifts, she was the first to offer me praise and encourage me to try. I wanted to be just like her, but she always made me feel like myself was enough.

Brandy was fiercely protective of me. She could be mean to me, as sisters sometimes are to each other, but if anyone else was mean to me, you did not want to be around to see her wrath. One day, when I was about 5 and Brandy was 8, a kid in our neighborhood, who was older and much bigger than Brandy, convinced me to get inside this little plastic toy box. After I did, he put the lid on it and sat on it. I absolutely hated being in closed-in spaces, so I was screaming at the top of my lungs when I heard Brandy’s voice as she was marching over, “Let her out right now!” I’m pretty sure she pushed this kid twice her size off the toybox. It was a long time ago, so I can’t remember exactly what was said, but that kid never messed with me-or her-again. 

When I was in first grade, Brandy would walk me to school and to my classroom every day. I often wore my hair in pigtails, so she would kiss me on the top of my head right on my part. Her care and kindness for others was nurturing like this. Brandy was fiercely loyal and caring to her people. One could not earn her trust easily, but once you did, she was on your side for life.

I loved just being with Brandy. She was the type of friend you could be yourself around. With Brandy, you left a conversation feeling validated and cared for. She loved you enough to tell you the truth, but coming from her, the truth sounded convincing and beautiful-not hurtful.

I always admired Brandy for how confident she was. She always seemed to know who she was. She had a sticker which quoted one of her favorite books, Pride and Prejudice,” which said “obstinate, headstrong girl!” That was my sister-stubborn and confident, even when she was wrong-and she was rarely wrong-but when she was, it was probably about the lyrics to a song. I used to call her the Queen of Misheard Lyrics. One time, when we were in high school, we were in the car with my mom, listening to the radio. The song, “Because the Night” by 10,000 Maniacs came on. In that song is a line that says, “the way I feel under your command,” but Brandy belted out-with all the confidence in the world-”the way I feel about the Orkin man!” I just looked at her and fell into a fit of laughter and she joined me. For years, we laughed about that. I never gave up the opportunity to sing those lyrics to her.

And, yes she was stubborn. One time I went to visit Brandy and Taz early on in their marriage. They were having a disagreement about how to do something and , in the end, Brandy got her way. Being the annoying little sister, I jokingly asked her, “So who wears the pants in this relationship?” Without skipping a beat she replied, “Taz does, but sometimes he takes them off and lets me wear them.” She was extremely quick-witted too.

Her stubbornness was a gift-even in her darkest moments, she persevered with grace, holding fast to her faith in her great God. She was not afraid to die. She was confident in who she was, that Jesus held her in his mercy, and that she would be healed in eternity. 

Even in her suffering, Brandy was encouraging me-and many of you also as you have told  me. She encouraged me to not despair over her cancer because that’s what the Enemy wants-to destroy our hope. She stubbornly would not let the Enemy destroy hers.

So, here we are, celebrating the life of my sister and best friend. We hold both great hope and devastation in our hands simultaneously. We have great hope that Brandy is now healed and in the arms of the Savior she loved so much. But, we are devastated to lose her from this earth so soon. It seems so unfair. But, I also believe in a gentle God who holds us and weeps with us and has a purpose in his timing.

We thank God for the time we had with Brandy, even though it feels too short.  Knowing  her personality, character, and faith,  I have no wonder why Jesus wants her home with him already; and  I am confident that He met her with the words, “well done, good and faithful servant.”